Archive for the ‘I wish this were a joke’ Category

You don’t have to be smart to be rich…

Tuesday, June 17th, 2008

As a matter of fact, apparently there are enough people in the stupid/rich quadrant that Denon has decided that selling $500 ethernet cables is a marketable idea. I can only imagine what the business case looked like that day in the halls of Denon HQ when the marketing exec pitched the idea to the board. The conversation that morning started out in either one of two possible ways:

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1) OK guys, we need an ultra high margin accessory to compliment our standard line of ultra high margin products. What haven’t we charged an arm and a leg for yet? How about this thing – what’s this? An ethernet cable? A what? Well, I don’t know what the heck that is so there’s a good chance that 99% of our customers won’t either since the size of my paycheck means that I’m one of the smartest people in the universe. Perfect. Oh, and if I ever hear you call it an “ethernet” cable again, you’re fired. Are there any more chocolate donuts?

2) Hey Guys! We’ve done it! We’ve finally done it! After years of failure, disappointment, and millions and millions of R&D dollars, we’ve finally made an ethernet cable that can make digital music being transported over our our proprietary IP stack* sound significantly better than with just a regular ethernet cable. You’ve got to hear this! Check it out!

(* I’m guessing here, but they probably changed some bits in the IP header to something weird and can now call it proprietary since it’s not part of the standard. My point with this particular tangent is that nobody makes completely proprietary communication interfaces these days, especially not people that make home theater components.)

Personally, I’m guessing that it went down more like Option #1.

So if you happen to have any friends in the upper left quadrant of the above-mentioned category, please let them know that it’s not necessary to buy a $500 ethernet cable to connect their reciever to their cd player. A $3 one will work just as well.

Just to break this down a little further, let’s take a look at the product photo on the page:

The cable in question

Here’s the product sell sheet if you want an even closer look.

Based upon this image alone, I submit:
1) The connector appears to have the same dimensions as a standard RJ-45 ethernet connector. there is no side keying that makes it look any different than a regular RJ-45.
2) The wires that are terminated in the connector are laid out in the following order: white/orange, orange, white/green, blue, white/blue, green, white/brown, brown. You don’t have to be BICSI certified to know that this is a TIA/EIA-568-B connection… known to many as “the ethernet cable”.

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, chances are it’s at least a bird.

Seen the newest Chinese Jin-class boomer? Google Earth has…

Tuesday, July 10th, 2007

The Chinese may be really good a building a lot of things, but apparently they’re horrible at building even the most rudimentary dock sheds for their nuclear submarines.

If you have Google Earth installed, here’s the kmz file that gives you the coordinates for the pic that they got from the commercial photo satellite, Quickbird.

Chinese Jin-Class Nuclear Submarine captured by Google Earth

The fish was netted by Hans M. Kristensen and published by him in the Strategic Security Blog, supported by the Federation of American Scientists. Kudos to Mr. Kristensen on his excellent Google Earth find, and shame on the Chinese for being caught so completely off guard.

If this is typical of how they run things, then they are indeed total amateurs and their global power needs to seriously be reconsidered.

BTW, if you’re a BF2 player, this is part of the Dalian complex.

Filed under the “I wish this were a joke” category

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007

I had to create a whole new category for this one. Did you know that sitting in your car outside of a coffee shop that has unsecured wi-fi access is a felony? This poor bloke (the word “bloke” courtesy of Dave, who’s got me in an English mood after his “rubbish” comment) didn’t know that either.

OK, It kind of makes sense when you think through it though. Let’s say the coffee shop had a table set up out front with a box of oranges on it with a sign that reads “Free oranges for coffee shop customers”. Technically, if you walk up and take an orange without first having bought a cup of coffee, you’re stealing. But a felony??? Come on. My argument would’ve been that I am a coffee shop customer – I bought a cup of coffee there just last week. I’ve spent money there – I’m a customer. It doesn’t say anything about being a customer in the last, oh, twenty minutes or so now does it? I can only come to two conclusions:

1) This guy had an ultra crappy lawyer.
2) I really should’ve gone to law school instead of going into telecom.

This one gets the Bunny Pancake award:

A bunny and a pancake

See? We’re not all quantum computers, overclocking, and Cylons here at oswald.us!